Take Me Out to the Ballgame
by Schu no ko
Summary: Schwarz takes the day off to go to a baseball game....let the chaos and out of characterish-ness begin...


Take me out to the Ballgame  
by Angela D  
  
note: I thought of this when I went to two baseball games one day after another...I got kinda bored...anyway, this is extreimly OOC...but it's kinda fun...And Schuldig fans..He's my fave Schwarz guy...I just like beating up on him. Have fun! Reviews are fun too! *hint hint*  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
*It's a beautiful day outside. The four members of Schwarz decided to go see a baseball game.*  
Crawford: Why are we here?  
Schuldig: There's nothing else to do...  
Nagi: And I've never been to a baseball game before!  
Farfie: *pouty face at Crawford* You took Knifie...  
Crawford: You can't take your knife to a baseball game...  
Farfie: Why not?  
Crawford: You'd be arrested.  
Farfie: No fair...  
Nagi: Schuldig...what's a hot dog?  
Schuldig: It's like a sausage...  
Nagi: What's in it?  
Schuldig: You don't want to know...never ask...  
Crawford: I don't want to be here...  
Schuldig: But you're American! You should love baseball!  
Crawford: Well I don't. *takes out scorecard, looks at it, and fills it out* Good game though...  
Schuldig: Cheater  
Crawford: Watch out in the third inning, Schuldig...  
Schuldig: Huh?  
Crawford: Trust me...  
Nagi: I'm curious about the hot dog...  
Schuldig: Then buy one  
Nagi: I have no money...  
Schuldig: Farf! Go get Nagi a hot dog...  
Farfie: But...  
Crawford: Go!  
Farfie: *leaves*  
Nagi: So um...what's the point of this game?  
Crawford: The guy in the middle throws the little ball and the guy with the stick tries to hit it and run around those little white square things.  
Nagi: Oh...  
Schuldig: -_- lovely description...  
Crawford: Thank you.  
Nagi: He's not doing really well...he keeps missing...hey! He didn't swing! Why didn't he swing, Schuldig?  
Schuldig: *smacks forehead*  
Farfie: *at the snack bar* Ummm.....a hot dog?  
Vendor: *gives Farfie the hot dog* That'll be (insert rediculous amount here)  
Farfie: WHAT??? *reaches for knife, remembers he doesn't have it, grumbles and pays money*  
Vendor: Condiments are over there *points at a table*  
Farfie: *sees plastic knives* EEEEE! *runs over*  
Vendor: Wow...I've never seen a guy so excited over ketchup...  
Nagi: *asking lots of questions* Why's it three strikes? Why's a foul ball a strike? Why can't you foul out unless you pop it up? What's a pop up? Why's it four balls? Why...  
S&C: IT JUST IS!!!  
Nagi:...ok....  
Farfie: *comes back with a plastic knife and a hot dog*  
Nagi: YAY! *grabs the hot dog*  
Schuldig: Farf, you idiot! You didn't put anything on it!  
Farfie: *is trying to cut himself with the plastic knife*  
Nagi: You mean you can put stuff on it?  
Schuldig: Yeah...  
Nagi: I wanna see!  
Schuldig: Brad, could you...  
Crawford: He's going to get mustard and relish...and you're taking him...  
Schuldig: *grumbles something in German.*  
Nagi: Can you go get it for me, Schuldig?  
Schuldig:...yeah...*gets up*  
Nagi: THANK YOU!!  
Schuldig: *through gritted teeth* You're welcome *leaves*  
Baseball player: *hits a homerun and everyone cheers*  
Nagi: What happened, Brad?  
Crawford: He hit a home run.  
Nagi: What's a homerun?  
Crawford: *stares* Have you EVER watched a baseball game?  
Nagi:...no...  
Crawford:...ok...well...a homerun is where the batter hits the ball out of the field and he can run all the bases and score a run.  
Nagi: What if there are people on the bases?  
Crawford: They score too.  
Nagi: What if someone's on every base?  
Crawford: Then it's called a grand slam and they all score...  
Nagi: Oh....who do we want to win?  
Crawford: The team batting right now.  
Nagi: Why?  
Crawford: Because they're going to win  
Nagi: oh.  
Schuldig: *comes back* Here.  
Nagi: YAY! ...um...how do you eat it?  
Schuldig: Did you take stupid pills today or something? Just start at one end and eat.  
Nagi: Ok. *Starts eating* Yummy!  
Schuldig: So, what did I miss.  
Crawford: A home run...oh and Farfarello broke knife #1  
Farfie: *is poking himself with the remains of the knife*  
Little Kid: *Staring at farfie*  
Farfie: What are you looking at?  
Little kid: WAAAAAH! MOMMY!!!!  
Schuldig: Geez, Farf! Can't we take you anywhere?  
Farfie: *whimpers like a puppy*  
Nagi: *licks mustard of fingers* That was good. I want another one.  
Crawford: I could go for one. Schuldig...  
Schuldig: *blinks* Farf...  
Crawford: Schuldig...  
Schuldig: What...  
Crawford: Are you going to be a good boy and get hot dogs more me and Nagi?  
Schuldig: Get it yourself.  
Crawford: I don't want to miss the game  
Schuldig: You don't like baseball...  
Crawford: Says who?  
Schuldig: YOU DID!  
Crawford: *Evil Crawford Stare (tm)* Do you want anytonight?  
Schuldig: O_o...-_-...I'll be right back...what do you want on it?  
Crawford: Mustard...  
Schuldig: *grumbles and walks off*  
Nagi: ...any what tonight?  
Crawford: Nothing.  
Nagi: Oh...*watches game*  
Schuldig: *Comes back withe hot dogs*  
Crawford: *Pats Schu's butt as he walks by*  
Nagi: *shrugs* Thanks Schu.  
Schuldig: *grumbles, sits down and eats his own hot dog*  
Farfie: *stares*...you didn't get me one.  
Schuldig: Get your own.  
Farfie: ...but...  
Schuldig: You want to go get your own, don't you *stares*  
Farfie: *goes to get hot dog*  
Schuldig: *Evil Schuldig Smirk (tm)* Hey, what inning is it?  
Crawford: Bottom of the third *wipes mustard off face with a napkin*  
Schuldig: Already?  
Crawford: *hands the scorecard to Schu* That's what you missed.  
Schuldig: What's with all the home runs coming up?  
Batter: *hits a HR*  
Crowd: *cheers*  
Schuldig: Wow...  
Batter: *hits a HR*  
Crowd: *cheers*  
Batter: *hits a HR*  
Crowd: *cheers*  
Schuldig: *looks at Nagi*  
Batter: *hits a HR*  
Crowd: *cheers*  
Schuldig: Nagi, every pitch can't be a home run...  
Nagi: But I like Home Runs...they're exciting.  
Schuldig: But stop it!  
Nagi: *glares at Schu*  
*foul ball hits Schu straight in the face*  
Schuldig: OW!!!! GOTTFLUCH ES, NAGI!!!!!  
Crawford: Told you.  
Farfie: *comes back with hot dog and looks at Schuldig*...lucky...  
Schuldig: *blinks*  
Farfie: *eats hot dog.*  
Schuldig: Dammit... *wipes blood off nose*  
Little kid: Are you ok, mister?  
Schuldig: No  
Little kid: Want me to get a band-aid?  
Schuldig: No  
Little kid: Want me to get ice?  
Schuldig: No  
Little kid: Want me to get first aid?  
Schuldig: *gritted teeh* No...  
Little kid: Want me to...  
Schuldig: Go away?  
Little kid: *hits Schu over the head with a mini baseball bat* You're MEAN!  
Schuldig: OW!!  
Farfie:...lucky...  
Crawford: Farf...stand here *points in front of Schuldig*  
Farfie: Why?  
Schuldig: Yeah..wh..*piece of a broken bat hits Schuldig*  
Crawford: That's why.  
Farfie:...lucky...  
Little kid: *spills soda on Farfie* ooopsies...  
Farfie:...Urge to hurt god...rising...*glares at little kid*  
Little kid: WAAAAH!!! MOMMY!!! They're scaring me!  
Nagi: *stops a foul ball that was about to hit Schuldig and makes it hit little kid*  
Crawford: Oh shit O_o  
Kid's mom: *dumps popcorn on Crawford before he can react*  
Farfie: Look, Schuldig, I need the bat!  
Schuldig: Why?  
Farfie: God hurts when little kids get hurt with baseball bats. Now gimme! *reaches for bat*  
Schuldig: No!  
Farfie: GIMME!  
Schuldig: NO!  
Nagi: *annoyed, uses power to throw bat on the field, hitting the umpire*  
Umpire: *takes off mask...and he looks remarkably like Reiji Takatori*  
Crawford: *grins*  
Umpire: *points in the direction of Schwarz*  
Nagi: Oooh...I think he's kicking you out...  
Farfie: Does getting kicked out hurt God?  
Schuldig:...yes...very much so...  
Farfie: YAY! *gets escorted out by security.*  
Schuldig: *waves bye-bye*  
Nagi: *glares* You tricked Farfie...  
Schuldig: So?  
Crawford: Crap...the butters starting to stain...I'll be back *leaves*  
Nagi: You're mean...  
*foul ball hits Schuldig*  
**Parking Lot**  
Farfie: La la la...I'm bored *sees something* Oooh...shiny...*picks it up. It's a knife!* Oooh...sharp shiny... *starts slashing tires*  
**Bathroom**  
Crawford: *wiping suit with a paper towel*  
Kid's Dad: Hey! You're that bastard that scaring my kid.  
Crawford:...hnn...wanna make a bet?  
Kid's Dad: Bet?  
Crawford: Yeah. We'll leave the kid alone the rest of the game. And If I win, you pay for my dry cleaning. If you win, I'll give you a million yen. No joke.  
Dad: Ok. The Kuronekos win..what do you say?  
Crawford: *shit...that's the original outcome* ok.  
**stands**  
Nagi: You were mean to Farfie!  
Schuldig: Ok, ok!!  
Crawford: *comes back withe a jumbo hot dog covered in mustard and relish* ^_^ Hello, Nagi!  
Nagi: o_O...hi...Brad...  
Crawford: *gives the hot dog to Nagi* There's going to be a little change in the game...remember how we wanted the Kuronekos to win?  
Nagi: Yeah?  
Crawford:...They aren't anymore.  
Nagi: *starts to eat the hot dog* I'll see what I can do. *grabs scorecard and changes it*  
Crawford: *looks at scorecard* That'll do.  
**after the game**  
Nagi: That was fun!  
Schuldig: *Has his arm in a sling, walking on a crutch, a swollen cheek, a black aya and forehead bandaged in place of his head band* Never...ever..again...  
Crawford: *Impatient* C'mon c'mon! Hurry up! I need to get this to the dry cleaners *walks faster*  
*Crawford, Nagi and Schuldig get in the car and drive away*  
Schuldig:...did we forget something?  
**Parking Lot**  
Farfie: *running from angry mob of car owners* ^_^ I hurt God a lot today!  
  
~Epilouge~  
  
Schuldig: Hey, Brad! You got a package!  
Crawford: A package? *takes package* The dry cleaners? *opens box* What's this note? We regret to inform you that your suit has been damaged beyond repair?! Please accept this free slurpee coupon in our apologies...Awwww shit...*takes out white fabric...it's his suit jacket and vest with a big hole in the middle* ..NOOOOOO!!!! MY WHITE SUIT!!!!  
Nagi: *to Schuldig* Doesn't he always have a white suit?  
Schuldig:...yeah...  
Crawford: *cries* NOW I ONLY HAVE 499!!...wait...where are the pants?  
Schuldig: *looks in box and pulls out a zipper*  
Crawford: *whimpers*  
Schuldig: *takes slurpee coupon* You gonna use this?  
  
~End~ 


End file.
